FADE IN: INT. COFFEE SHOP- DAY
We open on an older man and woman in their seventies across the table from one another. The man looks pre-occupied and concerned.
ALICE: What’s wrong, Joe? Something on your mind?
JOE: Every since Cecil passed on, I’ve been thinking a lot about life insurance. I want to be sure the kids aren’t burdened when it’s my time. Do you and GLADYS have any?
ALICE: We do. But what’s really been helping us feel secure lately is FUTURE TEENS.
JOE: FUTURE TEENS? I’ve never heard of that.
Alice slides a copy of HARD FEELINGS across the table.
ALICE: They’re a rock band from Boston, MA and they’ve changed everything for Gladys and I. People call them BUMMER POP and it’s a label they wear proudly.
JOE: I’ve never even heard of BUMMER POP. What does that sound like?
ALICE: It sounds like it’s 1 am and you’re on the front stoop of a party full of people you barely know talking with your best friend after you’ve both had a really hard couple of weeks.
JOE: That sounds comforting.
ALICE: It is! And more people are starting to hear about FUTURE TEENS. Just recently, they’ve started working with TRIPLE CROWN RECORDS and have played alongside notable acts like OSO OSO, VUNDABAR, AARON WEST, FREE THROW AND BAD BAD HATS.
JOE: Wow. Sounds like I should get on board before it’s too late!
DISSOLVE TO: Title Card appears on screen with a 1-800 number and rainbow text reading
FUTURE TEENS. Calming music plays and we hear a soothing, strong voice read our tag line and ending.
NARRATOR: FUTURE TEENS – A COMFORTING FRIEND IN A TERRIFYING WORLD. Call right away to reserve your FUTURE TEENS now. Don’t delay! Supplies are limited!
The NARRATOR reads the disclaimer at a much more rapid pace:
NARRATOR DISCLAIMER: While FUTURE TEENS may make you feel less alone, in most cases they will not physically be present during your listening. FUTURE TEENS formed in 2014 with little aspiration outside of playing a Fourth of July BBQ. In the subsequent years the band wrote and released more songs, steadily growing more serious about their goals. In 2017, they released HARD FEELINGS with TAKE THIS TO HEART RECORDS. Use of FUTURE TEENS may lead to random and frequent crying punctuated with strangely joyful laughter.
FUTURE TEENS is not liable for any emotional distress caused by listening.